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[offtopic] Amarok's favourite (clean) joke.

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dangle_wtf
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This is just to cheer up the resident grumpy old man... he knows who he is!

It's a Conspiracy!
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper? Groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away... yesterday  I walked to the corner and was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones.
They speak in whispers all the time!  If  you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until  they're red in the face!  What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age.  On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am.  I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognise me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own  refection...  Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days!  You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the  freeway in front of them..  All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and  swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days.  Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12  dress as 18 or 20?  Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and  bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse.  Do they think I actually "believe"  the number I see on that dial?  HA!  I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on - but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too. They've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone  will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PS: I am posting this to you in a larger font size, because something has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were.


"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."
.
If men could get pregnant, we'd learn the true meaning of "screaming nancyboy wuss"


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