I am using Arch Linux KDE4 with no pulseaudio just the regular ALSA
Is there an easy way to make my stereo bluetooth headset work

1)Automatic pairing after sleep / restart (both computer and bluetooth device)
2)easy switching between headset and external speakers

Any howtos will be greatly appreciated and there is nothing if I look for it in google.

See http://www.linux.ie/articles/bluetoothheadset.php

Note that your distribution may already have BTSCO packages available, in which case you can skip the steps to compile it.