I have a .desktop file I have created which shows as the correct icon fine in list view, but not in icon view. (this also affects kickoff - same behaviour - works in classic view, but not in standard view)
the desktop file (which is is /usr/share/applications/starfighter.desktop) is as follows

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[Desktop Entry]
Categories=Game;ArcadeGame;
Version=1.0
Encoding=UTF-8
Name=Starfighter
Icon=starfighter.png
Exec=starfighter
Terminal=false
Type=Application

and the icons are in /usr/share/icons/hicolor/[16x16,32x32,48x48,64x64,128x128,256x256]/apps/starfighter.png
I have run

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  /usr/bin/update-desktop-database -q usr/share/applications >/dev/null 2>&1
  /usr/bin/gtk-update-icon-cache usr/share/icons/hicolor >/dev/null 2>&1

and also

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kbuildsycoca4

but no joy.
I'm running kde 4.5.5 (slackware 13.37) If anyone has got any pointers I would be grateful.

Can you please provide a screenshot of this?
As for the Icon= line of your *.desktop file, simply "starfighter" should be sufficient.

sure, I'll get a screen shot of icon view and list view

screenshot is at http://winsender.sourceforge.net/snapshot4.png

I have the two dolphin windows side by side showing the two different views. the problem starfighter.desktop file is highlit in each. (correct icon is visible in details view but not in icon view.) I also opened the starfighter.desktop file so you can see it's contents (and location), and in a terminal, i've listed all the icon files. hopefully this is enough to illustrate the problem I am having.
I have the same problem with the kickoff menu in standard vs classic view, which may well be related, but as far as I can tell I have followed the spec http://standards.freedesktop.org/desktop-entry-spec/desktop-entry-spec-latest.html ok. There are probably more icons than needed, but I was looking at the vlc install for clues. pre-kde4 i just used 16x16,32x32 and 64x64 icons. The 48x48 icon was the first one I added to try to fix the problem in kde4/dolphin/kickoff.
I did have the Exec line in starfighter.desktop just as starfighter (as /usr/games is in the path for both root, and users) but changed it to absolute path just in case.

see viewtopic.php?f=67&t=39274 for the solution.
(remove the /var/tmp/kdecache-$USER/ directory)
thanks go to http://forum.kde.org/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=21 for the fix.